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awesomebll
change ... www.balonglonglong.blogspot.com

focus
awesomebll
had another great weekend spending it playing touch in school, playing badminton, swimming,ikea,library, church. Thats the way weekends should be spent. Im thinking of picking up another language, improving and improving. Competition in 2 weeks, just expecting a little bit more from myself this time. walked around ikea today and was just thinking of many things, didnt buy anything though, just took a walk thinking of things i may want to buy some day.

i've the answer
awesomebll
2 more weeks and we are done, once again
i have the answer now and i know im changing.
sometimes you just want to test your own limit
and to just overcome it.

these couple of weeks have been exceptionally
enjoyable and fun i guess, finally people that
are on the same frequency and wavelength, things
have become real funny and everyday we just laugh
at each other, do sai kang together going around
spotting people from pti and mp claiming them as
our seniors. guess we are real worried about the
posting.

Im starting to understand what im becoming and
maybe its time we stop trying so hard to accomodate
to others, following their decisions and losing your
very own stand.

off to play touch ! ITS A BRAND NEW DAY

perception
awesomebll
On a typical sunday, i decided to just spend some time alone and headed over to the library. To my surprise i chanced upon this buddy of mine and i realised that he's with his girlfriend. I assume they are having a date at the library haha, interesting huh ? what to do 4 h2 students.

On my way home i coincidentally bumped into my math tuition teacher, nothing much changed we stood there started a conversation and yes i guess he was expecting more from me when i said i managed a C. But it was still a well done i guess.

Time for a run

25th april
awesomebll
how time flies, tomorrow the next bactch of our peers are going into army. Just hope that all goes well for them and that they would be able to adapt to the life. all the best

So life has been slightly different, with more control on our side and more self decision-making. At different points in life we know we want different things, but for now we ought to get our priorities right. Time to up the fitness level and smash the 8.50 mark.

SPECS
awesomebll
Did you realise the change ? you or me ?

1 week to the end of the first chapter
awesomebll
Time sure flies, we are coming to the end of the very first chapter.

To think of it, it all went through so quickly and it has been tough but it was definitely memorable, the wild boars, bags over heads, pumping positions and everything else that we did together. This chapter of my life is really special, forced me to step out of my comfort zone.

Just very thankful for siang and tong for being through this together at this phase, guess thats what really pulled me through when you are brought into a foreign environment and doing things you are not familiar with.

Decisions to choose my way out wasnt easy. It was either the easy way out or the tough way out but i guess only through tough times do we mould ourselves. Im glad i managed to hit my aim for this whole first chapter, and that is to run below 9 mins for my 2.4km run. Im glad i managed to smash it and did a 8.50 dam proud of it.

Will update more soon take care

This will bring me throught the next week
awesomebll
Aaron peirsol -

'You must decide if the effort required involves making a sacrifice or that it is an opportunity.'

'If being successful at what you love is important to you, then you find the mindset that worsk for you.'

'If you don't want to put 100 per cent into what you're doing, then move on and do something you want to do.'

what a week, sprained my legs, didnt throw the grenade, finished 3rd in relay for swimming competitions but it has been a much more manageable week. I need my leg to heal as soon as possible so that i would be ready by next week for field camp, the socs the 2.4 run , i want to be something bigger, for now i really know how big i really am. lets go jia long

lost
awesomebll
Its been a long time real long, since i last met the emo monster, i didnt realise it was devouring me bit by bit unkonwingly, i fell into the trap and im emo long.

Its been a scary experience, i've gone through it before, but not at this duration not at this pace, physically emotionally taxing. You know it pushes you so much you feel like giving up. Just when you thought you were not too bad, be it running or swimming , all it took was to be in a group of 16 and 1 runs faster than you and 1 swims faster than you.

Just when you thought you were good, when you take a step out into the bigger world, you realise that the better ones are seived out and the best would ultimately emerge. Its been tough to face the truth, i would rather hide in the small little ground of mine for real.

Going for some swimming trials, hoping to breakthrough, make a difference to my life, this time though i didnt train in the water, i trained very hard on land, and for the very first time i feel the deadly hunger for the breakthrough, all i want to do is smash that 28s mark just 27.99 seconds and i will be contended. i Really want to smash it this time. For myself and for god.

It is a challenge for me to control my emotions now, negative thoughts and feelings just flood me and they pour in endlessly, at the same time you feel powerless and you just want to take the step out you want to run to the 4th floor with lim to scream at the top of your voice in school, but now you cant everythings bottled in, theres a cap, you have to swallow it. You cant scream like you want and you know you need help somehow.

I guess friends, family, brother and buddy they all play very special roles. I cant understand where did sociable long go actually, he just disappeared and he chose to draw a line with his new friends, he wants to live in the past the memories and he just wants to stay it there and be happy go lucky everyday. Things always change, god put us through trials to make us grow stronger and i believe we have to seek him.

To him i guess support comes in double handy, actually i think he understands fully when it becomes over dependent but if everythings okay and fine he would be able to pull through. I doubt he needs reinforcements at the moment but he is sure trying very hard to adapt to this lifestyle. He is wondering how far he can go now, how much more before the line is drawn and its time for 3pm long, but no it would not happen.

Emo balonglong just appeared, I need to drive him away before he takes away my soul and my body, I have a goal, and i think the only aspect that is predictable is the physical aspect, lets smash 9mins for 2.4km run and your very very best for SOC, he's thinking of the other goals but he know, he knows what he ultimately wants to achieve.

I just want to pray that everything would be okay good and happy.
I seek help and i want to be the best that i can ever be.
For the very first time, i want to achieve something physically that is tangible.
I need and i will change my mentality and become a stronger person.
thanks the 1 brother and 1 buddy

difference
awesomebll
I felt a sense of responsibility
Mixed emotions, everything's going to happen real quickly
and i just want to place my trust in the lord.

?

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